*Scrappitydoodah*

Earlier this month, I coordinated a blessingway for my friend Claudia. She chose the colors red and white and we used those colors for various activities throughout the evening. We started the evening by making a pin to wear in her honor every day until the baby is born, using red and white beads. We made a beautiful set of birthing beads using deep red, sage, and clear frosted beads on hemp.

As we added the beads (3 at a time per person, and we each had three turns) we talked to Claudia: the first time, we each told her something we love and admire about her; the second turn, we each made a wish for the baby; and the third time around, we each shared something our own mothers had taught us, either by example or omission, that we felt would benefit Claudia as a mother. Let me tell you, there were some tears flowing at that table.

I set out squares of muslin and fabric pens, and everyone decorated several squares to  be displayed during Claudia’s labor.  I’m sewing each of these to another piece of fabric and attaching them to a ribbon; when I’m finished, it will look similar to a Tibetan prayer flag.  Then we each tied a red ribbon around a white candle, and Claudia lit her candle. She lit each of our candles, and we sent out a good wish for a positive birth experience for Claudia and the baby, then blew our candles out. We all agreed to light our candles when Claudia went into labor, and leave them burning until the delivery of her baby.

Then it was time for our dinner (everyone had brought their favorite comfort food), which consisted primarily of desserts, and afterward, we quickly cleaned the kitchen and prepared for the finale. Claudia reclined on a sheet over her couch and we turned down the lights, played soft music, and pampered her by stroking her hair, giving her a facial, and massaging her hands, arms, feet, and legs…all of this at once, while Lisa decorated her belly with henna. It was so loving and special. We slipped out quietly when we finished so Claudia could rest and reflect and spend time in quiet conversation with her mother-in-law.

The following week, Claudia discovered the baby was wedged bottom-down in her pelvis, with his feet up by his ears. Her doctor scheduled her for a c-section. She is so disappointed, and I’m disappointed for her. I was to act as her doula during her labor, but for a section, only one person is allowed in the room with her, so I will just visit later. She’s going to carry the birthing beads with her,  we will all still light our candles, and we’ll still put up her prayer flag in the room.