I am nothing if not honest.
Sep 25th, 2007 by scrappitydoodah
I was blog-surfing the other evening, and I found an entry written by a mother whose children have never been in public school. She’s having difficulties getting them to cooperate with homeschooling; she discussed it with a friend whose children had previously attended public school, and were gleefully homeschooling. They decided the reason was the children who had been in public school know how good they have it, and therefore are appreciative of the opportunity to learn at home.
I think this mother has a valid point. My eldest daughter attended public school for two years, and I rarely have difficulties with her. It is the other two who balk and try to negotiate and argue.
There are days I just don’t feel I can take it anymore.
My children are on notice: if things are not better by the winter holidays, come January, they will find themselves enrolled in public school. This is not the route I want to take, but my unhappiness with this situation is approaching misery.
The sibling rivalry is unlike any I’ve seen elsewhere.
In one year, my son has changed from a happy, sweet, loving little boy into a disrespectful, mocking gremlin. My second daughter is full of sass and vinegar. Each day is becoming a battle.
I’m feeling utterly discouraged. My life is completely wrapped up in homeschooling, and I don’t enjoy it anymore.
*HUGE hugs*
My kids had never been to public school, either. Katelee was doing wonderfully with homeschooling. She loved it and didn’t want to go to public school. She appreciated homeschool and did her work well. Grace and Sheri were more difficult. They were fighting so much between each other. Grace was dying to go to public school. It was such a very hard decision to have to send them this year. I agonized over it so much and there were, of course, many tears, but I think it was the best thing for us right now, given the circumstances. We will re-evaluate things next summer and perhaps bring them home. It all depends on the needs of the new baby. Honestly, I don’t know if Grace will want to come back home. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I know Katelee wants to be at home and I think Sheri would be happy in either place.
I have to say, I don’t miss the pure chaos it had been around here. I was burned out and stressed out. I still feel guilt and sadness from not having them here, but I know that when this baby comes and I am dealing with all the stresses associated with his condition, I will be thankful the kids are where they are.
I have no advice, just love and support. I know how much you love your children. I know the burn out and being at the end of your rope. I know you would miss them if they were in school all day – I miss mine. Whatever you decide, keeping them home, a temporary mommy sanity time of kids in public school, whatever, I know you will do the best for you and your children. You are an amazing mother.
I think you are definitely right. You never know how good or bad things are until you have something to compare to. My son KNOWS he’s got it good, since he went to ps for two years. But occasionally, like yesterday, he needs reminding.
Maybe you’ll have to let the other two give ps a try. If your oldest really wants to stay at home, let her. I think with a little time, the other two will come around. But that is a huge decision that you will have to discuss with them and then weigh the pros with the cons.
Meanwhile, I will pass on a virtual {{hug}} to let you know we’ve all been there. Good luck!
You know I believe homeschooling with a dedicated parent is far superior to public school. But putting your younger two kids in public school for awhile sounds like a good idea to me; it’s natural consequences. If they aren’t putting forth the effort and cooperation required for homeschooling, then they incur the natural consequence of having to endure public school for awhile. And especially if you keep the eldest at home (where she wants to be anyway), it’ll make the distinction between the good situation they had and what they’re enduring now VERY clear to them.
To me, it’s basically the same thing as, if you break your toy, then you don’t have a toy to play with anymore. If they aren’t treating homeschool with the respect it deserves, they don’t get the privilege of being homeschooled until they’re ready to behave.
So you’ll get no condemnation from me (not that you ever do, LOL) – I totally agree with your plan. Have them experience the alternative, and that will make them appreciate their unique opportunities.
I LOVE your honesty, and I am glad I’m not the only one who feels a need just to LAY IT OUT THERE sometimes.
Big HUGS. I have been where you are more than once. The frustration and sense of futilty has gotten so bad, I considered enrolling them both in school ASAP.
I really have no advice. I guess I just wanted to say I have been there, and I’ll be there to lend a virtual ear, no matter what you decide.
I am sorry you are in this situation.
I think so many homeschoolers can relate. I’m sorry I don’t know how old your children are, since I am just new here, but I wonder if this kind of attitude is less indicative of homeschooling problems than age-related problems? So many children of a certain age that I know, whether hsed or in public school, are exhibiting the problems you described. It seems to be part of their biological development!
I have told my dd in the past that she will be going to school if she can’t appreciate being hsed. But to be honest, most often when she is resisting lessons, I find that its because of a problem with *me* – most usually, that my teaching style at that time, or my expectations of her, are clashing with her developmental needs.
Maybe you could take your children on a tour of a school, on the pretext of considering enrolling them; maybe that will be enough to give them the idea!
In any case, ((hugs)) and I hope things improve for you soon.
One of the things I love best about homeschooling is how fluid it is, as life changes. I was just over at the coop center helping to clear things out, talking to all the moms who dropped by to help clean, and about half of them are doing various degrees of public school, private school, hybrid schooling, everything from full-time public to drop-in classes. Everyone’s adapting in different ways, as their kids get older, and being a homeschooling mom means we get to have all those different options.
Change. It’s in the air.
Sibling fighting is no fun. Can I chip in with it may not get better when they are stressed out from dealing with a brick and mortar school?
I actually came over here to extend an invitation to join our group at the Indianapolis Museum of Art in November. They have an exhibition of Roman art from the Louvre and we’ve set up a tour.
Send me an email if you want the details!
John Adams Virtual School has made it possible for anyone to receive their Nationally Recognized online high school diploma in as little as 2-6 weeks.